The Ballad of Ben Bernanke or, Play Along on your Goldman Sax

The Chairman of the Fed Reserve’s
     a man of might and power;
And Alan Greenspan looked the part,
     all dark and dour and sour.
But how could you not crack a smile,
     or how could you be cranky
When you have an excuse to say
     a name like “Ben Bernanke”?

Bernanke, Ben Bernanke!
The Lord of Board and Bank, he!
Rewarding all his Wall Street friends
for fiscal hanky-panky…
We may not like a thing about
     the policy he’ll bring about,
          But there’s one thing to sing about:
               His name is “Ben Bernanke”!

At every mention of his name,
     economists all throw down
their books and charts and papers and
     proceed to have a hoe-down.
There’s music in those syllables,
     all banjo-ey and clanky;
So swing your partner, do-si-do
     While we sing “Ben Bernanke”!


Now, Alan Greenspan liked to be
     the harbinger of doom
And any time he stuck his gloomy
     visage in the room,
The rosiest economist
     would sob into his hanky…
But now, to hell with policy:
     Let’s all sing “Ben Bernanke”!


But when the Chairman of the Fed
     “Discourages disclosure”,
I do not feel like dancing then —
     It threatens my composure.
The more I see the man at work,
     The more I say, No Thank’ee;
And even Congress balks
     at re-approving Ben Bernanke.

When BoA is DOA,
     And Goldman calls it quits,
And everything Too Big To Fail
     Is chopped to tiny bits;
When Main Street gets the stimulus,
     And Wall Street bears the onus,
And those who wrecked the system get
     A jail term, not a bonus —
‘Til that day comes, I’m quite content
     To hide beneath my blankey,
While thieves and grifters dance & sing
     In praise of Ben Bernanke!

Bernanke, Ben Bernanke!
The Lord of Board and Bank, he!
What? Wall Street killed the middle class?
Why, give their wrists a spanky!
Financial folks are cronious
     And possibly felonious,
          But no one’s as euphonious
               As Ben Shalom Bernanke!

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